beanbagbaby
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in the "beanbagbaby" journal:[<< Previous 20 entries]
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10:27 pm
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My life in Four Parts
Part I: Purposed self-torture and I am enjoying it??
I jogged for a half an hour today, without stopping. Those of you who know my historical disdain for jogging will realize what an achievement this is. I attribute this feat to two factors: firstly, I joined a gym this week. Doing cardio for forty-five minutes on the elliptical twice this week coupled with three half-hour stunts on the bicycle last week with Elaina prepared me for the true test of real-live running. Secondly, my mind was carried away listening to the brilliance of Ira Flato in NPR's Talk of the Nation: Science Friday podcast; this week's show was, ironically, on snoring. I feel fantastic now, charged with energy and endorphins.
Part II: Starving Artists
In the ministry realm, I came upon a tremendous epiphany at dinner. I was eating with a friend, who wanted to paint this evening but did not have the resources. I am pretty sure I have heard this idea elsewhere, though I can't place it, but it made me decide that when I do have a church going, I will try to provide studio space and materials for local artists who otherwise would not be able to create because they don't have a house, or can't afford the materials. And in the coffee shop that the church will also be a part of, they can in turn sell the art they create and get extra needed income! Heck yes! Plus, what if it were a whole studio? Like with wood-working and sewing, and mechanics, and whatever else they are skilled at? And training! By volunteers from community colleges! And i hire as the baristas people who are otherwise unemployable, and train them! Don't worry, I'm not too optimistic. I know its gonna be insanely hard and painfull to do that. But i so totally want to. Like none other.
Part III: Be Informed. Be heard. Take action.
The social action committee is up and running, and I am very involved. Last night, I helped design a flyer to hand out at the upcoming ministry fair during Genesis weekend. During the fair, I will be barista-ing with my machine while students write letters to congressmen for various issues (human traffiking). Very rad.
Part IV: Please don't send me to...Africa? Louisiana?
My original intention for this summer was to perhaps go to Ghana. So I wrote my dear friend Pastor Emmanuel Amoah a letter and sent it off with my dad (who is over there right now...hi daddy! I love you!), to find out when he would like to have me. I know I am going to go, and it looked as though my options were either this summer, or after graduation.
Meanwhile, ever since around November, I have been regretting not signing up for Simpson's spring mission to help with Katrina recovery. I knew that God would not call me to something after the fact, so I pushed my desire aside...until this week. I found out that Simpson is going to be sending another team this summer. I need to go. Just like that. I remember thinking about a missions trip to New Orleans in Junior High, shortly before I gave up short-term missions as a way for me to fulfill God's calling (I do not like the idea of abandonment, of going somewhere, helping people, and then leaving them to go back to my comfort. Not cool). This time, the people affected are crying out for as much short and long term aid as possible. Part of the work I would do involves a church plant, which is where my heart is, and avoids the issue of abandonment because I am helping prepare the way for a permanent ministry. I am going. Just like that, it is so clear.
So it is possible that I could be going to both places this summer. I have to wait until next week to hear what thoughts about Ghana are.
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08:49 am
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Nissa Tagged Me
Four jobs I've had:
+Babysitter
+Studio Cleaner
+Barista
+Camp Counselor
Four movies I can watch over and over:
+Wizard of Oz
+Real Women have Curves
+Pieces of April
+Smoke Signals
Four places I have lived
+Magnolia, Seattle
+Bainbridge Island
+Canby Grove, OR
+Redding, CA
Four TV shows I love to watch:
+Gilmore Girls
+Simpsons
+SNL
+I don't really watch TV at shool
Four places I have been on vacation:
+Camano Island
+Canby Grove
+Maryland
+So Cal
Four of my favorite dishes:
+Clam linguini
+Pesto Salmon
+Indian
+Thai
Four websites I visit daily:
+Myspace
+The Ooze
+Moodle
+LJ Friends
Four places I would rather be right now:
+Sleeping
+Blackbird Bakery (working) or Pegasus
+Seattle w/ Nieces
+Portland with my friends who dont have houses
Four people to tag:
+Duck
+Duck
+Duck
+Goose
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01:58 pm
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Yay Me!
 | You scored as Emergent/Postmodern. You are Emergent/Postmodern in your theology. You feel alienated from older forms of church, you don't think they connect to modern culture very well. No one knows the whole truth about God, and we have much to learn from each other, and so learning takes place in dialogue. Evangelism should take place in relationships rather than through crusades and altar-calls. People are interested in spirituality and want to ask questions, so the church should help them to do this.
Emergent/Postmodern | | 82% | Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan | | 71% | Neo orthodox | | 57% | Roman Catholic | | 50% | Classical Liberal | | 46% | Charismatic/Pentecostal | | 46% | Modern Liberal | | 46% | Reformed Evangelical | | 39% | Fundamentalist | | 29% | </td>
What's your theological worldview?
created with QuizFarm.com |
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10:57 pm
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Ministry Proposal!
I just typed up a minor proposal.
Because I want to plant churches. But I was doing some research today, and discovered that it is a very male-dominated field. And by very I mean exclusively. Except of course for those that said that really it is the wife of the church planter who is the backbone for ministry.
So what is a single girl who has been called into this ministry to do? Fortunately only one of the organizations I found completely banned women from ministry. I know God has called me into full time ministry. And not as a wife. Not that I am not going to get married ever. But my ministry will not be as a pastor's wife. That is a beautiful and important role, many of the women who have fulfilled it have been a tremendous example and encouragement to me. But it does not appeal to me. I want a ministry team, a partnership.
I do not want to have to get married at 23 just to be able to plant. No thank you.
This was not supposed to be about marriage. It is not.
Anyway I want to plant churches. Seattle churches. I dont really know what this looks like because usually people who plant churches plant a church and then pastor it. I do not want to be a pastor. I want to be a worship ministries coordinator (so I made that job up...it works!).
But then i want to plant more churches and different churches.
I am not going to do a church hopping deal. No that is not fair to any ministry i am a part of.
So to plant more than one church i think means that I will plant one church and have that as my primary ministry, and then oversee how that church can support, equip, and encourage other church plants and existing churches.
I also want to plant people. And by that i mean release them to fulfull their dreams and visions in ministry. But i already wrote an extensive blog on that.
This is funny, because a while ago i thought that church planting was a silly venture...we have churches already, why not make those better?
How about because not everyone thrives in a big church? Or even if all the churches we have were filled to capacity it would still barely make a dent in the population, especially in the Northwest? Or because different people experience life and God differently, and that is ok and beautiful because that is how God designed us...with diversity?
New churches dont have to suck up the real estate market, either. Multiple churches can use one building! Yay for churches that dont meet in churches! Yay for resource conservation!
Every time i pass an empty building i examine it for its potential as a church location. Basically this whole church plant thing and mininistry thing are preoccupying my thoughts.
I like this preoccupation.
Current Mood:  happy
Current Music: Buddy Holly
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11:34 am
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Everything...
I have not updated in ages!
I am blaming it on my computer crash a few weeks ago...it threw me completely off center. That and the loads of homework and studyign going on.
However, before the crash, i promised someone I would update with a story of what is happening to my faith. And of course the longer i have procrastinated in updating, the longer the story is becoming because my walk with God is so dynamic.
Here is a rough outline, I would love to fill in the details for you, so please ask!
About a week before school was supposed to start, I stopped believing in God for a night. It completely caught me off guard, but I really wasn't concerned with it. Which is weird. But my faith really doesn't make sense, it can be so illogical.
Right now, I am finding that its beauty is in its illigitimacy.
I then started my second year at Simpson, far more involved in campus life, and having all sorts of "spiritual" responsibilities.
I am very much questioning and challenging the Christian Status Quo, and I am ok with the fact that God makes no sense. At lease not in the way that is natural for us to understand. I have to get over myself in order to come close to understanding God.
My faith has fluctuated in terms of stregnth and visibility, but my love for ministry has always been constant. I find security in that.
Right now, I love Jesus. Right now I believe in God and think he is rad.
That could change tomorrow.
I know this is pretty vague, so please ask for clarification!
And let me know how you are doing!
If you want more detail on the not believing in God part, i wrote a decent blog on it at my myspace blog.
http://blog.myspace.com/beanbagbaby
Love you all!
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01:58 pm
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Organic!
The alternative spiritual gathering for young adults is happening tomorrow evening at 7ish pm at Island Church (on Sportsman Club road just before 305)! Please come and check it out...this is a vision of mine being realized and it is very exciting! And if you live too far away or otherwise cant come, I really appreciate your prayers! God bless! See you tomorrow!
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02:30 pm
[Link] | I really need to vent something right now, and then I need some encouragement. I am afraid that i am going to get fired from blackbird...Its not that I have been doing anything wrong, or doing a bad job at all (at least to my knowledge), i am actually quite proud of the work i am doing. But i saw that they are hiring another retail opener (thats what i am) next week, which coincides almost perfectly i think with my 30 day review, so i have (hopefully mistakenly) jumped to the conclusion that they are going to tell me that it is just not a good fit for me or something. I feel like i am working hard, and having a really good attitude, and i know i am great with customer service, but the main manager doesnt seem to like me very much, and for some reason i just feel very insecure. So now i am totally terrified. i am going to talk to my manager tomorrow, and ask her how i am doing and if there is anything i could be doing better, so hopefully that should give me a better idea of where things are at. I really like working there, and i will feel like a complete failure if they decide not to keep me, because this is the only time i have had a "real" job. So i'm scared. Plus there are some bigger things going on right now that are making my very sad and stressed out. Please pray for me!
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08:50 pm
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Phone Numbers!
I dropped my phone in water last night, thus loosing everyone's number! Please call and leave me a message with yours! 206.718.2224
Thanks! -Mary
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12:46 pm
[Link] | Hey! So...Barisa-ing rocks! I have been learning the espresso machine, there is so much to remember all together, but everyone is so supportive i love it! It is such an amazing business to work for, i am being spoiled with this high quality in everything...I am skeptical that any other job i may have would be as solid as this one. It is so much work tho! I am on my feet the whole time (I need new shoes!!!), and then there are the hourly rushes when i'm still trying to learn everything and go as quickly as possible, i am very much looking forward to when it will all become second nature and i can multitask better, be more relaxed. I love seeing so many people every day! So now i am off to go do some R&R so i can be productive this afternoon!
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08:26 pm
[Link] | I am two days into being a Blackbird Bakery Barista, and it is wonderful so far! I am always busy, and i have to be in by 5 am, so it is pretty tiring, but i am catching on quickly and everybody is very nice (except a couple costomers who think they are making cute jokes but are really just irritating). There is a surprising amount to do all the time, and i havent even started learning espresso yet, but i love working with the pastires (yummy samples!), and all my coworkers seem very cool. So I expect to see as many people stopping in to let me serve you!
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10:51 am
[Link] | Blackbird Bakery just hired me! How rad is that??? I'm so excited!
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04:24 pm
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Christian Dharma
Dont write me off as a heretic for this one...i promise i'm not going relativistic on you! Just something that came to mind during my quiet time last night!
The concept of dharma...an individual's duty, responsibility, even call- this concept could be good for Christians to grasp and understand. While there are universally applicable "dharmas" discussed in the Bible (ie the ten commandments etc...), there are individual ones as well, to be tested against the universal calls of the Bible. THey involve right action in specific circumstances, or following through with the call on one's life. My scriptural base for this is James 4:17, which says, "anyone who knows the good he ought to do and does not do it, sins." But rather than giving us good karma to apply to our status in the universal spectrum of things, which is contrary to the Biblical truth of salvation by faith, following our "dharma" will produce in us holiness, which is very important, for "without holiness, no one will see the Lord" (Hebrews 12:14).
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06:28 pm
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Snow Patrol
Hey so like a couple summers ago i found this really cute t shirt that says "snow patrol" on it, and i found out a couple months ago that it is a band (tho i think the shirt is unrelated), and they are playing in Seattle on Wednesday @ the Moore theater...does anyone who lives around here want to go with me?
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07:45 pm
[Link] | I am reorganizing my room, and i have found some awesome treasures! First, this bottle of perfume that my mom had passed down to me from my great-grandmother; Ben Hur by Jergens, made in 1910 and selling for over $100 online, also a picture of my great grandmother. Then I found a paper fortune teller that I had made in middle school, but instead of fortunes, it had all kinds of promises from Bible verses. I was such a little Jesus Freak! I dont like cleaning my room, but this is making it more than worth it, I love being home in my room and again having that reminder of my roots and who I am and am becoming...i feel like i am in such an interesting place to be able to have such a perspective on my life from its beginning until now!
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09:46 am
[Link] | Proud to announce my new neice was born this morning, Carmen Elizabeth, 7 lbs 11oz, happy and healthy and perfect in every way! I am so excited!
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03:15 pm
[Link] | I just walked past my mirror, and when i looked into it, i saw an image of myself after the summer of fifth grade, and it felt very relieving. My hair right now is cut in the front like i had it that summer, and i am wearing clippies to hold it off my face like i did then. It was so refreshing to see that I am still me. I am always me. And it made me pause to reflect on my life, everything i have always been is me...I do not change. There is something very relieving about that, the consistency of my character, of myself. I was a pretty fifth grader. I am a pretty 13th grader. *Sweet smile*
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10:50 pm
[Link] | So I'm bored and looking at these cute vintage dresses...here are some of the cutest:
http://www.vintageous.com/v2783.jpg
http://www.vintageous.com/v2999.jpg
http://www.vintageous.com/v2947.jpg
http://www.vintageous.com/v2527.jpg
http://www.vintageous.com/v3146.jpg
http://www.vintageous.com/v2840.jpg
http://www.vintageous.com/v2941.jpg
http://www.vintageous.com/v2220.jpg
http://www.vintageous.com/v2820.jpg
http://www.vintageous.com/v3196.jpg
http://www.vintageous.com/v3188.jpg
http://www.vintageous.com/v2324.jpg
http://www.vintageous.com/v2360.jpg
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10:25 am
[Link] | I am coming home for Spring Break this evening!
If you live anywhere near me, we need to hang out! I would love to see as many people as possible while i'm home...so lemme know if you wanna hang out, even if we've never actually hung out before!
Simpsonites...have a radical break, i'll see you next week!
God bless!
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05:44 pm
[Link] | I made this revelation about myself, it is so simple, and I am certain so common, but i have never fully processed it before:
I equate being included/invited/involved with being liked.
So when i am not included/invited/involved by people i care about, for whatever reason, something in me assumes that it means that they do not like me anymore, and it makes me sad, even though i know this equation is usually completly irrational.
So now that i have defined that, i think i can think about it more logically and hopefully get over it.
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05:02 pm
[Link] | Hey, so i have had the most incredible birthday ever, i didnt think it would be possible to top last years, but wow! Nothing extraordinarily special has happened, but i think in the midst of the dry spell i had been experiencing, this overwhelming showering of love has so refreshed and replaniched my spirit that i feel so comlpletely alive, i cannot help but pour out the love lavished on me. It is so wonderful how God manifests himself extraordinarily in the ordinary. Life is beautiful. My eyes are opened to the beauty of His world all around me, and as my dad reminded me this morning, all the way through the generations from Abraham, in Christ i am under God's covenant that i will be blessed to be a blessing, as a child of God, and even now as a child of my daddy who claims me as his blessing! Lord, I am blessed! I feel anointed! There is nothing like the feeling of God's spirit inside you, it is still quiet and steady, it is deep waters and a bubbling brook, it reveals the simple and the complex, it is the essence of what it is to be free and to be human. True life cannot be experienced apart from it. Thank you Jesus, thank you everyone, you are all Jesus to me!!!
Current Mood: Everything that is good
Current Music: Rock and Roll Worship Circus- I love the Rain
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